take courage

Well, it has been a while since I have posted a blog and I have been mulling over my thoughts and trying to decide what to write about. So we are expecting our 4th child, the baby is due at the beginning of October so I am nearly 16 weeks pregnant at the moment. That should give me material for a few blog posts!!

It's funny, but I always had an image in my mind of what a mum of 4 looked like. And I am pretty sure that I would not have lived up to that image. My perception of a mum of 4 is someone who is uber organised (not me), crafty and creative (it really doesn't come naturally!), patient (at my best yes, in the everyday...not so much!), someone who cooks from scratch, probably batch, at some point early in the day (no! I'm more of the 4.45...agh what am I going to feed the kids and 7.30pm what am I going to feed James and me?)

But the truth is that I am going to be a mum of 4 and I guess there is no personality/skills test to check if I am going to manage but I will just have to do my best...that is all I can do. One of the things that I have been learning is that sometimes you just have to be brave. It is so easy to let panic fill us when we feel out of control or out of our depth. I have felt both of these things over the last 3 months and yet I have had to ask myself where my trust of God is. If I really trust God with my future then I can trust that He will not fail me now. It doesn't mean that it will be plain sailing, but it does mean that as well as an amazingly supportive husband, I know that God is with me too, and He is a good friend, a good Father and has the supernatural at His disposal! He tells me not to fear. He tells me to be full of hope and joy in all circumstances and I know that He is rejoicing over this baby too. Unlike many in society, my God really loves children. He isn't panicking about how I will cope. He isn't shocked that we are going to be well and truly outnumbered.

I am challenged during this time to depend more on God. To look to him for encouragement and to find peace in His presence. At the moment, with 2 children off school on holiday and a 2 year old, I am finding that a struggle but I am determined to find spaces with God where I can renew my mind and my strength.

I am sorry if this is too "God" focused today, but really I am just so grateful that James and I are not alone in this parenting role. Wisdom is the key and Jesus is the personification of wisdom.  I know that I am going to grow as a person (not just physically!)but in many ways,  through this pregnancy and beyond as I am well out of my comfort zone and that is when we either cower with fear or stretch out and grow. I aim to do the second. But I can't promise that it will be pretty!